I Own A Macbook, Therefore I Am

[*Please note, the following piece is truly about how one line can sum up a whole evening.  The subtleties and nuances are often lost in writing.  The  full variety of conversations and evenings were actually quiet entertaining]

Education knows no boundaries.  A smart and educated person is the same the world over, right?  All you need is a Macbook and off to art school. At least, this is a lesson I have learned whilst living abroad.  The smartest are the elitists.

A few examples of yours truly attending the school of hard knocks;

One scholar schooled me thus; America is bad.  Basically, it is the cause of all the ills that plague the globe.  This thought in itself is not that new, especially among lefty-types.  However, I do not fall for this trap, for I do not believe like most Arabs, we are not the world’s ‘great Satan’.  However, being as that it is dinnertime and being a gracious host, I listen and spar a bit.  The lecture continues on, that how can one be proud to be from America, when America used black people as slaves and over-ran the indigenous people and imposed their imperialist ways on the downtrodden.  It is shameful, and no one in his or her right mind would be proud of a country like this.  The smart person lecturing me so is very keen on Latin culture, and is spending time in Mexico, soaking up everything possible.  It is a very vibrant and wonderful thing, according to said person.

After being browbeat and scolded (typical of ignorant people like myself) I make my case.  I pose a simple question.  If those are the traits that make America so shameful, what about other countries?  It is not unique to America.

“Like who?”  Asks the brainiac.

Spain.  The very country, which did so much to form this lovely country (Mexico).  He looks at me like I am crazy…and I am sure I do look crazy.  Yes.  You do know that the Spanish brought blacks as slaves to Mexico, to build their new empire…right?  Now I know I am not the sharpest dude in town, but wasn’t it the Spanish who came to this place and basically wiped out a whole civilization…namely, the Aztecs?

The smart guy is quiet.  He admits this short oversight.  Change the subject.

Another typical trait I have come to see in blazing color is the plight of the workingman.  Socialist views are the best option.  The people have the power, and all things should be spread among the people equally.  This is another fault of America, is that people should not be allowed to be rich and make what they want.  Everyone is entitled to a home, and the luxuries that those who work hard for their leisure enjoy.  This is fair, right?  I have even been told this by our great leader on anyone of his countless television appearances.  The wise and cultured art student is re-enforcing this mode of thought.  This is why other countries are far superior, because they abide by a socialist view.  It is horrible that corporations stomp on the workers, that bankers get loads of money, that you do anything in private enterprise or agree with Capitalism.

The people are the power…unless they choose to speak.  When the workingman speaks up, shield your ears.  A perfect example was made by this learned student when he goes on about how important each and every individual’s rights are and their voices must be heard and accounted for.  In the same breath, a comment is made; “Oh my God, as long as they don’t vote in the mid-term elections.  Keep the stupid people out of the voting booths, that is the last thing we need.”

I was confused by this.  Like an idiot, I open my mouth and prove my ignorance.  “Didn’t you just say everyone is equal?  That the peoples’ voices must be heard?  Do the true working people in the mid-West, the farmers, the southern hicks, the simple people…do these not count?”  I know, a silly observation. “Is it only those who attend the right schools and live in the right cities that actually have a right to be heard?”  I loosed my tongue in a flurry of ignorance and made a simple point that a Macbook and an enrollment into an art school doesn’t automatically qualify one for ‘educated’ or cultured.  In fact, I felt it is the opposite.  If you think everyone has a voice, then the buck-toothed inbred driving a tractor in Nebraska has just as much say as the kid with the parents paying for his newly discovered drug craze while attending hip art school of Chicago. Right?

No.  I am wrong.  I do not own a Macbook and I have not attended the right schools.  I am a simpleton, and one who should be silenced…as proven in the next scene.

Saying the ‘N’ word is wrong.  It is a terrible offense and it only shows your ignorance by using it.  It shows you have no culture and are careless about other peoples’ feelings.  Another art student tells me that this word should be barred from usage, even in your own home.  It is backward and hurtful.  I held my simple tongue and did not pose the question of “Which is worse, saying it or thinking it?”  Of course, as mentioned before and by other artsy types, how could anyone who has not lived in NYC or LA even know about culture?  The rest of the populace is simple and stupid.  Never mind the draconian rule of banning words from usage in your own home, among consenting adults.  1984, anyone?

I ask why the word is bad.  I do not settle for a simple ‘it just is’.  I agree that it has been ‘perverted’, but ask if they can at least see how this word may have gotten to where it is now?  Can you follow the lines?  A country where many blacks come from, Nigeria.  Do you see the similarity?  Can you see from this simple example of how someone can mangle this?  It is still bad.  Negro.  You do know this word is used daily…like even here in Mexico?   A pair of questioning, yet skeptical eyes look at me. Yes, it is used daily.  It means ‘black’, you do know that right?  Can you see how the ‘N’ word can get mangled yet?  Can you see its lineage?

“Do they really use that word for black here?”

The answer is simple.  Still, educated and cultured people must maintain that the consensus says ‘word is bad’ so ‘word is bad’ (never mind keeping schtum and screaming it in your mind).  I understand, there is a huge chasm between the simple and the smart.  Rather than pursue the idea of free speech and being ‘racist’ in word or deed, I accept that only a simple, lowly man would defend the right to speak freely and openly in his own home, in private, on whatever subject he chooses.  I hang my head in shame.

“You know…I just realized the other day that when I throw my cigarettes out the window that that is actually littering” says the victor as they muse on a newly learned lesson.

Do I need to tell you what the look on my face was?  I need not remind the cultured one that in an earlier conversation about race that if you did not like blacks you are racist.  However, said cultured one said they could not stand Chinese people-but that is not racist.  Yes, the schools of today have taught well, race is between black and white; hatred among other races and cultures gets the green flag.

I am convinced, that the key to knowledge and forward thinking comes in the guise of a white plastic 15” casing, with a glowing apple on the lid.  If genius is pursued, one must try to attain the metallic variety, in a larger scale, containing even more knowledge.

In closing, I admit that you learn from everyone.  Differing views and opinions help us all to gain insight, even if it is gleaned in a wrong city…or God forbid, something more provincial like a town!  Sometimes, even an uncalled for smart-alec remark from a simpleton like me can teach a well-learned champion of ‘diversity’ a thing or two.  As a quick jest to one who chooses to rollick with their own gender is made, “Ain’t that right, Stonewall?”

Empty, questioning eyes look as if I uttered Mandarin or something. “What is Stonewall?”

Seriously.

(Any funding to help me to obtain a Macbook would be greatly appreciated!)