The Mountains; Our Last Day

We had debated leaving today (Friday) or Saturday. We were having second thoughts for sticking it out, as today proved to be a ‘wash out’. There was not much doing today, but sitting and watching rain. Yes, we were starting to think that we would have been better off having left.

It was raining in the morning. This can be nice. It is very peaceful lying around or shuffling around while a gentle rain falls. Somehow, I think it make coffee taste better. I know it makes reading and watching old movies better for sure. It definitely sets the tone for today. It will plod along at a very s l o w pace.

Dash: a sign of the times

We managed to get to Leonora’s for a bite of breakfast. By mid day we had a short break as well. Ray and Lourdes stop by and see what is shaking. Ray has come with some tools and wants to prune the trees as per Coco’s instructions. Just to make sure, he had stopped by the coffee lady and asked her opinion. Seems that those with green thumbs think alike. Time is running out, and you have less than 48 hours to trim up or shut up. Ray is out in the yard, trimming while the rain is trying to decide to call it quits or be a nuisance. We sit around a visit while watching Ray. Andres shows up, and so do our next door neighbors, Gabriel and his wife (sorry, forgot her name!). It sprinkles off and on and it keeps us on the porch, providing plenty of time for small talk and gossip.

Gabriel has just returned from Puerto Vallarta. He tells us how a friend of his was car jacked earlier today. Seems that the region north of Puerto Vallarta, Nayarit, is still riddled with drug lords and their minions. According to lore, all the Intel around that region was dismantled about 5 years ago. In the meantime, the drug lords and opposing gangs have been able to build up a strong network and gain control of the region. Word on the street is that the even put small holograms on their bags of dope. If bags are found in the wrong area with the wrong hologram, the guns come out. Back to Gabriel. He tells of how a drug gang had waited a bit outside of town, with a large bus in tow. They had a small group of about 30 foot soldiers. Any wary traveler who happened to come down this particular highway this morning was flagged down by men with machine guns. The people were told to get out of their car and were marched to the waiting bus. The group peeled down man by man, until they had accosted 30 cars. (They had planned this, because they had a ‘driver’ for each car they would steal). After the last car was taken, the bus was driven back to the outskirts of town, and the people were told to beat it.

This is great news for us! This really makes the drive home seem like a real fun experience. Gabriel laughs, “You are going the opposite way! It is only if you go towards Vallarta is there a possible problem.” That is not too comforting to Tonya, and doesn’t do me any favors either. This is just what I wanted to hear, Highwaymen out and about as we are about to begin our trek back home.

In the other ear, a conversation has been going on between Andres and Gabriel’s wife. She asked what was really going on with Arizona and the way people feel in America about the illegals. Well, you can only imagine the spin Andres gave. A left-wing gay man raised under a dictator in Argentina. I don’t understand Spanish, but I do get the words “rights” and “unconstitutional”. I have discussed this with Andres before, and I know he is not telling the story the way I would. However, in all the gabbing going on, Gabriel has invited us to his restaurant tonight for dinner.

The rain goes silent. The conversation has rested enough to realize that the drops have stopped falling. Everyone decides to make a break for it while they can. We all say we will meet up later, and Andreas says he will return to see about horseback riding.

This is what it looks like watching rain outside the window

Andreas never makes it back. I wonder how he will survive, leaving his sunglasses and iPhone behind. The gentle break has resided, and now it is coming back a little less shy. Before too long, it is raining hard enough to where we have to get off the patio. As the rain kicks up, the power goes out (again?). We sit inside the place and watch the rain fall. It gets harder and harder, and then it is pouring. As we watch the water in a steady stream form the roof, I notice a pattering sound. It is almost as soon as I hear it, it gets louder. It is starting to hail. At first, the tiny ice balls bounce off the cars, then I notice them landing onto the front porch. They are bouncing all over the place, like someone has just busted a giant beanbag! Next thing I know, the hail is coming in through the windows…even onto my computer that is sitting on the desk! I see a car pull up in front of Gabriel’s. It is him and his son, but they are trapped. It is raining and hailing so hard that all they can do is sit and wait. I stand and watch them wait. This is going to take a while.

a piece of hail on my laptop!

The day whiles on and with no power, it starts to get dark inside the house. There is nothing you can do but wait. We decide to try to make the best of it, and decide it is a perfect time to take a nap.

Good times...

It worked! I am not sure how long we dosed off, but we awake again to a slight drizzle and the sound of birds chirping. It is dusk. We flip a switch to see if we have power. Nope, but you can see the lights glowing, straining to turn on. Our bellies are telling us that we should make a move while we can. The dogs staring at us as if they are lost urchins make us wonder if we should go. Tonya worries about leaving them alone in the house if the power doesn’t come on. I tell her I will leave them on, so that if the power does come on, they will have plenty of light to stare at one another until we return. We grab a jacket and a raincoat and go downhill to ray and Lourdes’s place. I know Andreas is probably panicking, so I make sure I grab his beloved iPhone and sunglasses, and off we go.

We get to Ray’s and he is immediately offering some raicilla. He has bought loads off a local moonshiner, and wants everyone to turn on to it. Personally, it is not to my liking. I sip as to not offend. We sit around a bit and chat and wait for the power to come back. It doesn’t. Lourdes says that it is getting late, almost 9. If we are going to eat, we have to get to Gabriel’s before 10. We head out to see if he is even open.

It is almost like a dream. Fog hugs the square, but small beams of light are poking through. Most of the beams coming form the open doors of Gabriel’s place. There is a small group of people sitting at a table in the corner, and the only sound aside form them is gentle rain and the staff. We choose a big table in the opposite corner and start to get cozy. Gabriel comes from out of the kitchen and welcomes us. He tells us to make ourselves at home and asks us if we want some drinks and appetizers, and hands us some menus. Lourdes and Tonya are thrilled that he serves up the famed corn fungus, huitlacoche. They order two servings. I order a glass of wine. When Gabriel is fetching our goods, Lourdes gives us a quick tip; do not talk of Coco and Walter, because they do not get along with Gabriel and his wife. Part competition and part personal. Messaged received loud and clear.

You would have thought we all had prime Argentine porterhouses the way the folks were acting when the fungus arrived. Andreas and I were new to this, so we used caution when approaching. It was a thick sludge, brown-ish, almost purple. I took a taste. I took another trying to decide what I thought, without giving too much thought that I am eating rot from corn and what it may do to my guts. “Well?” was the question being asked, with all eyes on me. “Uh” I try to align my thoughts and taste recollection, “it tastes like cold Wolf brand chili…without the beans” That is the best I could come up with, and I still stick by it. It was the same consistency and almost the same taste. The others seemed less than thrilled with my opinion, and Ray tries to justify by saying it is probably spices that it was cooked with.

I feel even worse about not being able to tell if my wine is crap or if it is the fungus which is interfering with my wine. Andreas can see that I am wrestling with my drink as well as the plate of fungus. He asks to see my glass. He sniffs, looks at me and sips. “Yes, it is bad” he says and looks around the table, “The wine is corked”. We haven’t even gotten the meal in full swing and I have to summon Gabriel out and tell him his wine sucks. I see him take it to the back and smell it. Ray jokes and says he’ll just bring it back in a different glass. I think he’ll call some drug thugs and tell them which way we are heading tomorrow. Gabriel returns with two glasses and hand one to me. I sip, and then sip again. “Good”. Gabriel sets them both down and then asks if we are ready to order. I can’t decide, so I wonder if asking him what he recommends is wrong, after I just dissed his wine. I choose the steak with a special salsa. He gives me a thumbs up. I am hungry and I can’t wait to eat, especially some real meat!

He returns and tells me that there is no more steak. I glance at the menu and give him my back up, a four cheese pizza. It was actually quite good! Everyone else seemed to like their food too. I dare not say it to Gabriel, but it doesn’t come close to his nemesis Walter. The food disappears in no time. After Gabriel clears our table, he sits and spins tales of all sorts. I love hearing all these. He is drinking too, so his Spanish is lost and he tells the tales in English. He is slow at first, but he gains ground with each sip. He and his wife are vegetarians, and crazy about the local plants and herbs. He tells of scientists coming from Puerto Vallarta to go over some edible varietals of mushrooms. This is the cue for the old stoners at the table to reminisce about their mushroom adventures. I sit and smile and think that it is no wonder that people get freaked out from eating fungal growths from poop. You do the math!

Gabriel spins a long tale about some weird trip he took form some bizarre South American concoction form deep within the Amazon. He’d gotten some stuff from a visiting shaman who was in town to trip people out with this ancient freak out drug. The story goes on and on. Ray seems like he wants to sign up and meet this old shaman next time he’s around. Gabriel laughs and says “Ok! Let’s do it!”

Gabriel is a cool guy. It is great he is a food freak, and even more so that he is into the natural aspect of food. He tries to use local stuff for his dishes, and truly tries to live off the land. He gets up for a moment to check on something and then returns with a sealed bottle, like a new olive oil bottle. He asks if we want to try his home-made peach schnapps. Ok (wait, didn’t we do this same kinda thing last night?)

Ray is quick with the expletives. This is smooth, soft and goes down like it was never there. Gabriel stands at the table, waiting for feedback. Without a doubt, Ray gives him what he wants. We follow suit, all shaking our heads and putting our glasses down. Gabriel makes some very, very excellent peach schnapps. A few more glasses of the syrupy schnapps are poured, and some conversation continues. It may be after the food, schnapps and a long day, but Gabriel’s laugh and his shoulders moving while he giggles is a very comforting sight. This all feels very good and right. We all sit at a round table and everyone is taking turns talking and laughing and just enjoying the time together.

Being a proper host, Gabriel interrupts the flow once again, points at each of us individually as he stands up, and asks who wants an espresso? Lourdes immediately informs the table that we must all try one, because according to her, Gabriel’s espresso is a most amazing experience. She backs out, of course, because it is too late and she is afraid she won’t sleep. Ray, Andreas and I continue on. Gabriel steps back into the back part of the restaurant, and I can see him with his back to us, grinding chocolate and preparing the coffee. A few minutes later he returns with three espressos and eyebrows raised.

the most amazing espresso

This. This is the bomb! Yes, I have had some great food here. Yes, I do love coffee and have had different coffees whilst all around this crazy planet-however, I have never had an espresso like this. This is the kind of stuff that draws out TV chefs to bring cameras in tow to see for themselves. Man! This is rich, creamy smooth, velvety, round, full, delicious…you name it. All packed in to such a tiny little cup. And crazier yet, served out of a kitchen in some Podunk town way up in the mountains by some freak who trips out with shamen. Life is sometimes stranger than fiction.

Again, I have to say how much these nights are enjoyed. The friends, the food, the village. I really hate that this all has to end. I am grateful that this, our last night here, is spent with these great folks. It is even better than we have the fantastic food and drink to boot! What started out as an abysmal, rainy day has turned into an unexpected warm and cozy time. Money can’t buy these times, they are truly priceless.

this...is a party!

Warm, fuzzy and full, we have to say our goodbyes. Our time with Gabriel was brief, but he is true character and a guaranteed good time. I am glad we met. Andreas is leaving tomorrow from Puerto Vallarta, so we will say our goodbyes now too. Ray and Lourdes say they will be by at 7am to see us off on our long drive home tomorrow. We shake hands and hug, and say goodbye to our friends and good times.

Our walk back is nice as we exchange talk of our time here and the impressions the people have made. A wonderful place and some truly wonderful people. This was a well deserved break, and I know in the midst of all Tonya’s heartbreak, she has probably enjoyed it more than all of us. Back at our place, it is a quick ‘ready for bed’ ritual and lights out. I get yelled at because I putz around in the bathroom and am not quick enough to bed. I hit the switch, leave my slippers beside the bed and crawl up behind the mosquito net. Nighty night!